Wednesday, January 25, 2006
It HuRts...ReALLy rEaLLy Bad!!!!!!!!
Okie.......if you've been after a really great week or day.........pls do not read the following....as it may....no...no....it WILL dampen tat spirit of urs...........and i'm really serious abt it...so don't say i didn't caution u b4 hand aite......... i'm only writing this...in hope tat at least 20% of the burden tat i'm carryin will be off........(*Breaths in & out heavily*)Alrighty...here it goes........... i know for the past couple of days or even weeks.......i've been acting really really strange......and it's ONLY coz of something tat has been troubling tat lil mind of Rena.....(*pauses to think 4 awhile as to wat to type*)..........it's really hard for me to bring myself to even type abt this...but wat the heck...........i'm goin to do it anyway........... My most BELOVED uncle.........has passed away on 24th Jan at 6.49pm..............due to a heart problem tat he had for years.............my uncle's a really FIGHTER man!!!!!! what really shattered my heart into a ZILLON lil pieces was tat....just 4 days b4 he passed away....ie. when i got tat call from my aunt sayin that uncle Samy was in the hospital..... i had a terrible feelin tat some ain't quite right.......so my whole family rushed down to SGH's ICU ward in the Heart Center block............i said my prayers all along the way...until my bro and i both stepped into the freezing ICU ward........The moment i saw him..........i tryin my very best not to tear....i don't want to let him see tat i was very sad.......the thing is.....was tat he had just came out of the operating theater after a nerve wrecking 3hrs surgery........and yet...he was wide awake, joking & laughing with my bro and i.....he told us both not to worry abt him....and told tat his name is not in GOD's list yet..............and my bro was sayin tat "Heaven's fully book.."........my uncle started to laugh.... as for me....it took sometime for the words to come out of my mouth....i was a lil scared....and i didn't know wat to say.............knowin tat i was too quite....my uncle diverted his qns to me....... he was like......"How's sch gal........?? don't worry too much okie..... getting a job for a smart gal like you wldn't be a problem....somemore...ur daddy knows soo many ministers....don't worry ahh...." Then i finally spoke......i told him tat i've join the Young PAP grp and i'm sure i'll work hard to achieve both my parents and my goals....... and wat he said after tat.....would have been the last few motivational words tat Uncle Samy told me.... he was like..."Rena....tat's good really good....not bad ahh u.....i know u can do it...." WOW!!!!!!! the joy tat i experienced tat moment was...erm....i can't even put it into words!!!!!!!........... i told him.............. "I'll see u soon.....very soon Perriyapa (*means eldest uncle in tamil*)......my bro said the same.............and my uncle kept tellin us......don't worry....don't worry kids...... and he just kept talkin and talkin......there was a couple of times when i nudged my bro...indicating tat we sld leave.....coz i really didn't wanna disturb him.....as he had just undergone the surgery and i was afraid tat he was in alot of pain....... but no....he just kept talkin...and jokin with us.............never for a split second...did i think tat...tat will be the LAST TIME EVER tat i wld have spoken to one of my FAV uncle.......haizzz.........he's such a strong man.....wat an amazing person.............The reason behind me mentioning how strong and wat a fighter he is......is tat he has undergone sooo much pain and suffering for years........my dear uncle was one of the first few singaporeans to undergo a heart transplant...and i can clearly remember when he did.....as my entire family was praying tat he'll survive tat transplant......tat was on 24th Dec 1992............ and praise the LORD....coz after he had tat transplant......he was quite active and was very athletic too.....maybe it's coz the heart tat he got was a teenager's and most imptly....he determination to survive for as long as until he saw all his 3 three children get married and see his grandchildren too..... and i guess GOD heard tat prayer of his.....coz.....he managed to do all of that b4 his time.....I've like got soooooo much to talk abt him...he's super funnie.....caring for every single niece & nephews of his.....and not forgetting the love he showered on his 3 grandchildren.....Boy!!! i can go on and on abt him.......Ha!!!! two weeks ago...my parents,bro and i were watching my bro's 21st birthday party.....and we were like sayin tat Uncle Samy was such a good sport....coz during one of the games.....he kindda played a trick on all of us....hahha.....it was a funnie sight......i guess i have tonnes of pleasant memories of him..........esp when i was a lil kid....i use to frequent my aunt's hse as it was the opp block of mine (*for those who have came to my old hse....u remember those short hses tat i always use to point at......& tell u guys tat my aunt stays there??*)......i miss those days where i stood at my kitchen window....ard 5pm plus.....waiting for uncle Samy to park his car and look up and see me waving at him frantically.....ahahah....i'll never forget those days......it's like every time....right after getting out of his car....he'll surely look at the direction of my block...and wait for me to yell...."Hi Perriyapa!!!!"....LOL....and of course....he'll wave back with tat classic wide-eyed smile of his.......now tat's wat i call priceless memories!!!!!As much as i HATE to say it......i'm glad tat he has reached the arms of GOD......he has done his fair share of good to others....he was and still is a NOBLE man......i LOVE u uncle Samy...... May u rest in Peace......Now the tough part.....is tryin to slowly let go of him.......the pic of him lyin motionless in his dead bed....is still in my head......i can't seem to get it out of my head!!! i really don't know how to move on..........i really had to force myself to come to work today.....i never talk to anyone at all...other than to mitch...durin lunch time tat is...........i just can't be the same me...i don't know how to....i need some closure........and i can't seem to do tat......help me god!!!!!!!! Help me someone!!!!!!!!
WoRdS oF tHe InDiAn GeiShA at 5:49 PM