I'm sooo freakin sorry for the fact that i've not been updating my blog at all. It's just that I've been really busy...(*as usual....yeah...yeah*)with a bunch of stuff.
I've got quite alot of stuff to say...but for now...well only those dear to me knows wat exactly is goin on in my life....& i've been told specifically NOT to be such an OPEN book and also to NOT give a certain someone the ammunition to shoot me and bring me down...so since the person tat adviced me tat is super uber close to me.... i shall heed that person's advice...coz it's sure as hell for my own good.....
Now back to what i wanted to blog abt for today. For starters...i've COMPLETELY lost my VOICE!!! Now when i talk....sound ain't the thing tat's comin out...more like only air tat's comin out of my mouth..... HA...HA ....i know ya'll ALL havin a good laugh...esp my brother.... but it totally sux man & scary too.......... it's all because of one freakin rainbow donut that i ate two days ago.... wat a bummer......... i just recover a week ago from a really terrible sore throat,fever,flu, cough...ya know tat whole nine yard.... so yeah....i thought on tuesday night i was fit as a fiddle...then come thursday morning when i woke i realized that my neck was a lil swollen (*bad sign for me coz tat wld mean i'm havin a sore throat*)...and when i got a call from my mum...i croaked like a frog!!!
Actually come to think of it....i think i sounded like DONKEY from Sherk!!! I'm serious...i could have given Eddie Murphy a run for him $$ man..... and the worst part of this all is that later today...it's my cousin brother's wedding reception!! I hate this feelin so being sick..... gosh...i can't eat all the GOOD food......LOL....
Ok i think i better move my ass outta here...feelin drowsy coz i took soo many medications...but oh!! one last thing...JORDIN SPARKS won American Idol!!! (*ok i can see deb & the rest rollin their eyes...yesh i do watch tat show gals*) It was quite a close fight...but i'm glad she won..... i've uploaded a clip of one of the songs that she performed on the show....durin the earlier rounds tat is.... it really shows how AMAZING of a singer she is..... and everytime she sings this song...it really gives me goosebumps coz it's DAMN good (*mind u pple...she's only 17 yrs old*) .... it's an old song previously sung by Shirley Bassey......It's called I who have nothing....
WoRdS oF tHe InDiAn GeiShA at 12:50 AM
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
MeSs... JuSt a Mess
As my blog title goes...tat's wat my life has become... Just a complete MESS!!!!! I swear by the end of this post...i'll be crying buckets loads man.... I mean i'm soo NOT the type tat wld pity myself of anything....but by the looks of how my life is heading... it's just sooo F#@* up man....
Why...just WHY is tat EVERY single damn time i find myself comfortable or settling into something.... things just turn the whole way around and bites me right in my ASS!! I mean come on man....Cut me some slack please... For godness sake.......... how much more can i take.... seriously.......
I am drowing myself these days in self loath......at times snapping at my parents and even at my friends.... tat's soooooooooooo NOT me..... I don't know wat to do anymore.... i really need help.... I can't live my life hating myself... it sure ain't goin to do me any good....
I need a MIRACLE........some kind of POSITIVEthingneeds to happen man.....
I never had the courage to tell my parents or my brother this....but the past month or so i've been having really terrible nightmares..... alot of horrible flashbacks....like both my uncles' death... the two operations i had....and time i went for all my therapy sessions.... ya know...all those bad stuff tat happened to me.... it's really coming back to HAUNT me..... and i have NO to talk to abt it coz NO one will understand me.... i think some of you are already judging me now....
U must be thinkin wat a WACK JOB i am.......... well be my guest.....say watever u wanna say and make ur peace................. if seeing me miserable makes ur day better.... go ahead..... Rejoice!!
Ya know wat.... i'm just doing to end it here.... as it is i'm darn sick now and my leg is KILLING me again......... I really don't know whats goin to become of me..... tsk...tsk....tsk..... i just hope i won't end up six feet under too soon.....