Tuesday, May 15, 2007
MeSs... JuSt a Mess
As my blog title goes...tat's wat my life has become... Just a complete MESS!!!!! I swear by the end of this post...i'll be crying buckets loads man.... I mean i'm soo NOT the type tat wld pity myself of anything....but by the looks of how my life is heading... it's just sooo F#@* up man....Why...just WHY is tat EVERY single damn time i find myself comfortable or settling into something.... things just turn the whole way around and bites me right in my ASS!! I mean come on man....Cut me some slack please... For godness sake.......... how much more can i take.... seriously.......I am drowing myself these days in self loath......at times snapping at my parents and even at my friends.... tat's soooooooooooo NOT me..... I don't know wat to do anymore.... i really need help.... I can't live my life hating myself... it sure ain't goin to do me any good.... I need a MIRACLE........some kind of POSITIVE thing needs to happen man.....I never had the courage to tell my parents or my brother this....but the past month or so i've been having really terrible nightmares..... alot of horrible flashbacks....like both my uncles' death... the two operations i had....and time i went for all my therapy sessions.... ya know...all those bad stuff tat happened to me.... it's really coming back to HAUNT me..... and i have NO to talk to abt it coz NO one will understand me.... i think some of you are already judging me now....U must be thinkin wat a WACK JOB i am.......... well be my guest.....say watever u wanna say and make ur peace................. if seeing me miserable makes ur day better.... go ahead..... Rejoice!!Ya know wat.... i'm just doing to end it here.... as it is i'm darn sick now and my leg is KILLING me again......... I really don't know whats goin to become of me..... tsk...tsk....tsk..... i just hope i won't end up six feet under too soon.....
WoRdS oF tHe InDiAn GeiShA at 12:45 AM